What do all human beings have in common? The need to feel loved.
However, we often look outside ourselves to fulfill this need, expecting / hoping for unconditional love from our parents, partners, friends, ... and all too often get disappointed along the way.
Constantly looking for gratification and validation outside of ourselves drains our energy because we continuously are making an effort to fit in, to fulfill others' expectations, are adapting, twisting and turning our personality just to receive a bit of love in return. Is it really too much to ask?
One could argue that it is not. That the world is unfair. That we are not treated "the way we should". Etc. Does this get us anywhere though? Does it bring us the love we are looking for?
Looking at the topic from another perspective, we can also ask ourselves: Am I loving unconditionally? Or do I also want my partner, parents, brother/sister, boss.... to be a certain way, just a tiny bit different from who/what they are to be able to love them? And if I cannot truly love without conditions, how can I expect others to?
So is the quest for love and acceptance for naught? Should we give up?
No!
The solution to this whole conundrum, according to my experience as a psychological counselor and human, is to find and establish the love and acceptance within. Once I am able to look myself in the mirror everyday and be truly content with the person I am (seeing), with the life I am living, being true to my inner self, my needs and felt purpose, the need to look outside for validation, gratification, love and acceptance simply dissolves. There is no more need present, screaming loudly for help, as it is satisfied... fulfilled... from within instead of without.
And not only do I feel "happier" because I love and accept myself the way I am but because of this I will also be able to 1) accept and love others unconditionally (at least more times ;), and 2) outside opinions will affect me much less if at all. Why? Because I am INTERNALLY AT PEACE.
One piece of advice:
Stop looking outside when all the answers you are looking for are within ;)
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